Set boundaries for yourself

Ever felt resentful that you seem to be doing ALL the household chores?
Felt frustrated that you’re ALWAYS making the first move with your partner?
Felt angry that you’re doing EVERY single thing for your school project?

Saying no is definitely challenging.

We – or at least, I do and I see that with the people around me, tend to bottle everything up. Eventually, our resentment, frustration and anger reaches the brim and we EXPLODE. We say NO and refuse to do anything at all.

After that, we feel guilty and ashamed.

That’s creates tension and distrust within relationships.

Instead, let’s learn to set appropriate boundaries.

A favourite quote of mine is from Brene Brown.

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How can we do that?

  1. Think of what you’re saying YES to.


    When we say no to something, we’re often saying yes to something else. Saying no to additional work would mean that you’re saying yes to more time with family and more time to read or do things that actually fill your heart.

  2. Take ownership.


    If you feel that there is too much on your plate, own that feeling! Say that you need more time and space for yourself because YOU are feeling overwhelmed. Blaming others tend to create a climate of distrust, judgment and blame.

  3. Be accountable.


    We talked about how self-love is COMPASSION + OWNERSHIP. It’s NOT only about offering yourself grace, it’s also having the courage to be accountable for what you promised to get done. If you’ve agreed to XYZ and for some reason, cannot get it done, it is also important that you choose to apologise and account for that.

 

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